December 2

John Breckinridge was born on the 2nd in 1760 in Staunton, Virginia. At the time, Staunton was considered a frontier town, which could have held him apart from great opportunities. He was however a bit of a whiz kid and managed to attend the prestigious William and Mary College. Further evidence of Breckenridge’s remarkable capabilities may be found in his election to the Virginia legislature when he was only 19 years old. One explanation might be that he got a bunch of very good genes from his parents. In his later years, he would serve in the United States Senate, develop a prosperous law practice, and found Castleton Farm, one of the more notable farms in American thoroughbred racing history. His remarkable talents would follow down in his family line. Breckenridge’s great-great-grandson, Bunny Breckinridge (pictured) would achieve a similar level of success when, in 1958, he appeared as ‘The Ruler’ in Ed Wood’s masterpiece Plan 9 From Outer Space, arguably the worst movie ever made.

December 1

In an election held on November 28, 1918, Nancy Witcher Astor, Viscountess Astor was elected to the British House of Commons. Lady Astor was the first woman elected to serve in that august body. She assumed her seat on the 1st in 1918. Whatever her contributions to the political life of Britain, and there were many, she should also be remembered for having observed, “The penalty for success is to be bored by the people who used to snub you.”

Introduction to December

It seems as if it happens to me every year, like clockwork. I find that once again, the holidays are fast approaching and I have yet to take even tentative steps towards even beginning my holiday gift shopping. If you have ever found yourself in similar straits, I am certain that you understand how nerve-wracking that can be. You are hunting for that perfect gift for the multinational publishers, network executives and wealthy dilettantes on your list and find that you simply cannot decide just what to get them. Allow me to offer what may be a solution to this quandary: put a post-it on your refrigerator to remind yourself that the domestic and international rights to The Symzonia Review are always on offer.

November 30

On the 30th in 1817, Christian Matthias Theodor Mommsen was born. He was destined to become a classical scholar, jurist and historian. He was also a prolific writer, with over 1000 entries in his bibliography. In 1902, he became the recipient of the second Nobel Prize ever when he received the 1902 Nobel Prize for Literature (for Romische Geschichte – Roman History). The timing of the award worked well with Mommsen’s schedule. Besides, all the invitations to the Awards ceremony had been sent out, the hall booked, the medal struck, so many people had sent back their RSVP cards, and Mommsen was going to die on November 1, 1903 so awarding the prize after 1902 was simply out of the question.

November 29

Primates had a good year in 1961. To get the ball rolling, on April 12, 1961, a primate of the family hominidae named Yuri Gagarin became the first one to venture in to outer space. Gagarin’s flight orbited the Earth exactly once. For Americans it was somewhat disheartening that not only did someone beat us in to outer space, but also it was a Russian who did it. Well, technically it was a Soviet that did it but let’s leave that to one side for the moment. Americans straightened their backs and put their shoulders to the wheel and on the 29th of November a Mercury Atlas 5 was rolled on to the tarmac at Cape Canaveral and the second primate took the historic step of entering into an Earth orbit. America’s champion was Enos, also a member of the hominidae family, though his friends call him a chimpanzee. Enos would dramatically improve on Gagarin’s record and orbit the Earth twice before he splashed down off the coast of Puerto Rico. It was not until February 20, 1962, when John Glenn, yet another primate, piloting Friendship 7, would once again improve primates’ orbital successes when he orbited Earth three times. And people say there is no such thing as progress.

November 28

On the 28th in 1989, in response to the Velvet Revolution, a non-violent political movement (pictured), the Communist Party of Czechoslovakia relinquished its monopoly of power in that country. Researchers have thus far been unable to establish a connection between the Velvet Revolution and Slash’s band Velvet Revolver and it appears to be unlikely that the revolution drew its name from the band.

November 27

On the 27th in 1703, the first Eddystone Light was destroyed by what came to be known as the Great Storm of 1703. Granted, it was a big storm but personally, I simply do not see what was so darn great about it. I know what you’re thinking but don’t worry I am not going to insert the lyrics to that song here, though I am sorely tempted to do so. Just to keep the record straight however, my father was definitely not the Keeper of the Eddystone Light. In addition, it is strictly an unfounded rumor that he married a mermaid one fine night. Finally, there is absolutely no concrete evidence that from that union there came three, there was no porpoise, no porgy and the other certainly was not me.