August 27

The long history of Irish – British relations is largely a sad tale of violence, turmoil and unrest. On the 27th in 1979, a bomb, which had been planted by the Provisional Irish Republican Army (IRA) on Lord Mountbatten’s yacht, exploded, killing Lord Mountbatten and three others who were on vacation on Mountbatten’s boat in Donegal Bay, Sligo, Republic of Ireland. Also on that day, another IRA bomb near Warrenpoint, Northern Ireland killed 18 British soldiers. It would probably be viewed as insensitive if I were to ask you “What’s small, white and travels at 300 miles per hour?” The answer of course is “Lord Mountbatten’s deck shoe crossing Donegal Bay”.

August 26

On the 26th in 1498, Michelangelo was commissioned to carve the Pietà. A contemporary of Michelangelo said of this sculpture that it was ‘a revelation of all the potentialities and force of the art of sculpture’ and ‘…it is certainly a miracle that a formless block of stone could ever have been reduced to a perfection that nature is scarcely able to create in the flesh’. I guess they liked it. I think the sculpture is o.k., if you like that sort of thing. There is one thing about the piece that I find really quite depressing. Michelangelo was only 24 years old when he received the commission to carve it, was well under 30 when he finished it, and had not even begun to hit his stride. However, I can’t dwell on that fact too long because if I do I’ll end up simply packing it in and checking out.

August 25

Back in the good old days, when Pluto was still a planet and had not yet suffered the humiliation of being designated a mere Trans-Neptunian Object by the IAU, on the 25th in 1989, the Voyager 2 spacecraft flew by Neptune, the last major planet it could visit before leaving the Solar System. The entire Voyager Program utilized highly sophisticated scientific instruments. Of course, you have to take in to consideration the fact that Voyager 2 and its sister-ship, Voyager 1 were both built and launched in the late 1970s, which would explain the fact that Voyager’s data control system is a single 8-track recorder. This 8-track has a life expectancy far greater than 8-tracks used for audio playback. The International Astronomical Union should really take note of Voyager’s lack of success in locating Pluto anywhere in the neighborhood. Voyager 2 did however drop a couple of postcards in a mailbox, which have yet to be delivered to NASA. Therefore, as far as I am concerned the jury is still out on Pluto’s status.

August 24

In 1456 on the 24th, Johann Gutenberg finished the print run of what has come to be called The Gutenberg Bible, which is more than a little self-serving on his part, don’t you agree? Once the run was completed, if you read between the lines, history tells us that Johann and the boys called it a day and went out for a couple of drinks, probably beer since he happened to be in Germany at the time, which was awfully convenient. The Gutenberg Bible is significant because it is the first book printed using movable type. The print run began on February 23, 1455 and in little more than a year and a half Gutenberg produced 180 copies of the Bible. This was a startling improvement in the production of books. It has been estimated that were the same book produced by hand (You know, by those monks who shave the tops of their heads) it would take that long to produce a single copy. Gutenberg’s development of an efficient printing method paved the way for books to be mass-produced, thereby making books accessible to the great masses of the public hungering for something other than cereal boxes to read. Oh, it took a while for the literacy rates to rise enough so that writing and publishing became profitable undertakings, but it did eventually happen. However, when I see bookshops filled with books by Danielle Steel, Eric Schlosser, Nora Roberts, and Victoria Gotti I find that I really have to ask myself the question “Was what Gutenberg did really worth it?” However, that’s just me. I also tend to respond to questions posed by strangers by pointing my finger at them and screaming, “Get thee behind me, demon spawn of Satan” so I might not be one to be the judge of the literary merit of other people’s work.

August 23

On August 23, 1939, the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact was signed. The immediate result of this pact was the division of Eastern European spheres of influence between the Soviet Union and Germany. On the fiftieth anniversary of the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact in 1989, the residents of those states most affected by the Pact, presented a rather graphic display of the proportions of what would come to be known as the The Singing Revolution (probably deriving its name from all the singing involved, the album however, didn’t even chart and went nowhere.). Approximately two million people held hands and formed a human chain across Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania to draw the world’s attention to their plight. It took a bit more time for their freedom to be restored but, what the heck, it killed the afternoon.

August 22

King Charles I was an able monarch, though I suspect that a small measure of nepotism might have been involved in his securing the position of king. Or perhaps not, maybe he just decided to go into the family business like a respectful kid. His legacy to England and the world at large was certainly not the delicate art of diplomacy. He did, however, leave a lasting mark on British history by the remarkable achievement of being the shortest of all British monarchs (Now would be a good time to throw in a couple of short jokes, but I’ll try to resist that impulse.). On the 22nd in 1642, while addressing Parliament, Charles called the members of parliament traitors. This did not sit well with those in attendance and Charles’s bringing the issue before them marked the beginning of the English Civil War, thus proving, at least in part, the truth of Charles’s statement. Charles was brought to trial by a court created by an Act of Parliament for the sole purpose of trying him. Charles refused to recognize the court and also refused to plead either guilty or not guilty. Under the prevailing law his refusal to plead was considered an admission of guilt. The ACLU would probably love to get their hands on that one. He was sentenced to death on January 29, 1649 and ended his days on earth the next day with the able assistance of the Royal executioner.

August 21

King Gustav III, horrified by watching his beloved Sweden labor under the oppressive yoke of parliamentary rule, completed his coup d'etat on the 21st in 1772. He then provided his nation with a new constitution and installed himself as an enlightened despot, which is really the sort of despot one should be.