July 22

Have you ever found yourself falling all to pieces when speaking to someone and coming out with something virtually unintelligible? An example? ‘He left in a rit of fealous jage’ instead of ‘he left in a fit of jealous rage. The next time you do something like that; tip your hat to William Archibald Spooner, because the utterance you have made is considered to be a spoonerism. The redoubtable Mr. Spooner was born on the 22nd in 1844.

July 21

I may be giving the impression that all of July is populated with events of questionable benefit to our species. I assure you that is not my intention. On the 21st in 1969, we accomplished something that demonstrates that humans are capable of reaching great heights, both literally and figuratively. On that day, Neil Armstrong and Edwin ‘Buzz’ Aldrin became the first humans to walk on the moon. I don’t have enough information to say that they were the first creatures to walk on the moon, although that may very well be the case.

July 20

I feel certain that everyone has, at one point or another, received the admonition to ‘read the fine print’ of just about everything, from a home mortgage to a bottle of aspirin. You will note the importance of that little task when you consider the following fact. On the 20th in 1921 the Attorney General of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts issued an opinion in which he stated that while the 19th amendment to the United States Constitution granted the right to vote to women, the Commonwealth’s constitution did not give them the right to seek or hold elective office. This comes under the heading of Huh?

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August 4
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July 19

Mel Brooks was correct when he said ‘It’s good to be the king.’ Unfortunately, the same does not necessarily hold true for Queens. On the 10th in 1553, Lady Jane Grey was crowned Queen of England. However, as in life, all good things must end, and on the 19th in the same year, in all likelihood well before Lady Jane was vested in her pension plan, ‘Bloody’ Mary Tudor deposed her.

July 18

Sometimes life teaches us lessons. Other times death does the honors. While the former is, by far, preferable, the latter definitely gets your attention. On the 18th in 1969, Mary Jo Kopechne learned that it is not a particularly good idea to go swimming while wearing a high-powered automobile.

The car in question was an 1967 Oldsmobile Belmont 88

July 17

Forget Haditha. Forget My Lai. Forget Jones Town and Heaven’s Gate. On the 17th in 1791 in France, at the Champs de Mars, essentially a very large park in Paris, On the order of Jean-Sylvain Baily, the mayor of Paris, Royalists slaughtered an estimated 1200-1500 civilians who had assembled to petition for the removal of King Louis XVI.

Ironically, or, if you prefer, appropriately, the Champs de Mars is named after Mars, the Roman god of war.

July 16

On the 16th in 1930, Emperor Haile Selassie of Ethiopia signed into law Ethiopia’s first Constitution.

Or, as he was more informally known: His Imperial Majesty Haile Selassie I, Conquering Lion of the Tribe of Judah, King of Kings of Ethiopia and Elect of God