July 1

I’m pretty sure that this is one day that Hernan Cortes, boss of the gang ‘The Conquistadors’ thinks he should have just called in sick and simply taken the day off and gotten a break from all that conquering stuff he was into. On the 1st in 1520, much like the rumble between the Sharks and Jets in West Side Story or the Bloods and Crips in Forest Hills, Cortes and his homies got into a rumble with Cuitláhuac (pictured), who was the leader of the gang ‘The Aztecs’. In this battle, the underdogs would score a victory that almost, but not quite, wiped out Cortés’s Conquistadors. Today the event is known as La Noche Triste (Night of Terrors). I don’t known how the rest of the rumble went but I do know that today in Mexico pretty much everyone does speak Spanish.