March 8

On the 8th in 1618 legendary big shot thinker Johannes Kepler published his third law of planetary motion: "The squares of the orbital periods of planets are directly proportional to the cubes of the semi-major axis of the orbits". I have absolutely no idea what that means nor do I have a clue about the meaning of his other two laws on the subject. I think Kepler was very lucky to have had his elves to fall back on, because at least their cookies are very good. Oh heck, those are the Keebler elves, not the Kepler elves. I guess Kepler was just another hack that I don’t understand, and now without the cookies a hack that I have absolutely no reason to even try to understand.
Kepler began his career as an assistant to famed astronomer Tycho Brahe, who also dabbed in astrology and alchemy.