March 31

On the 31st in 1547, Francis I, King of France[i] died. His death was immediately followed by Henry II’s (pictured) coronation as king. I am sure that Francis would disagree but this all worked surprisingly well because the date was also Henry’s 39th birthday which meant that the royal bakers only had to make one cake. While Francis managed to have a long and happy reign, Henry would not share that happy feature with him. Henry was rather fond of jousting and similar recreational activities. On June 30, 1559, Henry traveled to the Place des Vosges in Paris to participate in a joust to celebrate the signing of the Peace Treaty of Cateau-Cambrésis, which ended the war with his enemies of long standing, the Habsburgs of Austria. Now tell me what the odds of what follows happening is, o.k.? In the joust, his opponent’s lance suddenly shattered. A small piece of it flew through the open space on his visor. It penetrated Henry’s eye, then travelled through his brain and ultimately exited through his ear. Henry would linger until July 10, in which could only have been excruciating pain and then died.

[i] He’s the guy who sent Jacques Cartier to explore the St. Lawrence Seaway in Canada.