December 14

George Washington’s Birthday has long been a holiday in the United States. He was born on February 22, 1732. The occasion was generally celebrated on the 22nd of February until 1971, when President Reagan got the brilliant idea to combine Lincoln’s birthday (the12th) with Washington’s and established Presidents’ Day, to be celebrated on the third Monday of February. Why he thought a generic Presidents’ Day was a good idea is unclear, although my guess is that it had everything to do with reducing the number of Federal holidays, limiting employee benefits or some other such nonsense. In my opinion, it sort of takes the wind out of the celebrations and only succeeds in making the holiday sales events that more tiresome. Washington died on the 14th of December in 1799, so why not celebrate his death? There could be sales on cemetery plots, funeral shrouds, boxes of tissues; the list could go on and on. Washington died of pneumonia, so comfortable blankets and antibiotics could be tossed in for good measure. The dental industry, which is generally overlooked in the federal holiday department, would have a field day with Washington’s teeth. It is a common misconception that George had wooden teeth, in spite of the fact that all evidence indicate that his false teeth were made from the teeth of elk, hippopotamus, and humans. There even survives one set made from lead, which weighed a hefty 4 ounces. Yikes!